


These Little Town Blues

by stillscape



Category: Brooklyn Nine-Nine (TV), Parks and Recreation
Genre: Crossover, Crossovers & Fandom Fusions, Gen
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-08-27
Updated: 2015-08-27
Packaged: 2018-04-17 13:08:21
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,748
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4667705
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/stillscape/pseuds/stillscape
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>
  <i>“April. Hey. Are you nervous?” </i>
</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>  <i>“No,” she said automatically. “I mean. About the conference, yeah. A little.” </i></p><p> </p><p>  <i>That was why they were going to New York, after all: so she could attend a land management conference on Leslie’s behalf. There wasn’t much to be nervous about. Leslie had prepared the presentation weeks ago, and it was so thorough that no question could possibly have been left unanswered. </i></p><p> </p><p>  <i>“Don’t be,” said Andy. “You’re gonna kick ass. You’re gonna kick all the asses.” </i></p><p> </p><p>  <i>She wasn’t nervous about that. She was nervous because she hadn’t seen her older cousin, the one who worked for the NYPD, since she was a kid. Her cousin didn’t just work for the NYPD, she was a detective, and definitely the coolest and most intimidating of all April’s relatives. April was kind of shocked that Rosa had even agreed to meet up with them. </i></p>
            </blockquote>





	These Little Town Blues

**Author's Note:**

  * For [kultiras](https://archiveofourown.org/users/kultiras/gifts).



> In this universe, Andy passed the police exam and is now on the Pawnee PD force. 
> 
> Thanks to my beta/brainstorming partners.

“Babe, I’m totally ready to join the NYPD.” 

April stared unblinkingly at her husband, who lay on his back on the floor, feet laden with the weight of the black boots that were part of his uniform. Two months in, he still hadn’t adjusted to shoes heavier than sneakers. 

“I mean, I know you don’t think you want to move to New York.” 

“I _don’t_ ,” she said. God. She hadn’t ever been to New York, but she knew for a fact that there were way too many people there. 

“And that’s why we’re not moving.” 

“Yeah,” said April. She cast an eye over their half-packed suitcase. One nice-ish dress (dry cleaned, ironed, sealed in some sort of space wrapping, and folded neatly. Leslie had done that, and the fact that she had managed to break into April’s house and pack her April’s suitcase with three babies was...well, actually, it wasn’t that surprising). A handful of underwear. A handful of Andy’s underwear. “That and all the other reasons.” 

“But I’m just saying, you know. I don’t want to move there either. But if the NYPD _does_ offer me a job…” 

“We’re only going to be at the NYPD for, like, a minute.” 

Her heart thumped a little at the thought of it. She wasn’t like Ben, scared of cops. She wasn’t even scared. She was nervous, and angry at herself for it, and she hastily threw another armload of cleanish clothes in the suitcase and then pressed her forearms on them to flatten the bundle. 

“April. Hey. Are you nervous?” 

“No,” she said automatically. “I mean. About the conference, yeah. A little.” 

That was why they were going to New York, after all: so she could attend a land management conference on Leslie’s behalf. There wasn’t much to be nervous about. Leslie had prepared the presentation weeks ago, and it was so thorough that no question could possibly have been left unanswered. 

“Don’t be,” said Andy. “You’re gonna kick ass. You’re gonna kick all the asses.” 

She wasn’t nervous about _that_. She was nervous because she hadn’t seen her older cousin, the one who worked for the NYPD, since she was a kid. Her cousin didn’t just work for the NYPD, she was a _detective_ , and definitely the coolest and most intimidating of all April’s relatives. April was kind of shocked that Rosa had even agreed to meet up with them. 

She wound up having sex with Andy instead of finishing her packing.

\------------------- 

“This is it,” said Rosa. She gestured around the bullpen, using only her eyeballs. “Now you’ve seen it. Okay, let’s go.”

April thought about all the office tours she’d seen Leslie give over the years and decided two things. One was that she was glad her cousin was not Leslie Knope. The second was that it was kind of a shame she wasn’t, because the Brooklyn Nine-Nine bullpen was way more interesting than any level of Parks office. 

And she didn’t think they’d be leaving immediately. Andy was wide-eyed, chuckling in delighted disbelief. 

“Rosa, is this--who is this? Hello! Are you friends of Rosa’s?” 

A Leslie Knope rose from a desk and approached them. This one was brunette instead of blonde, and her hair was in a ponytail instead of curls, but she was wearing a pantsuit, and she looked eager. April glanced back at the vacated desk and was unsurprised to see that it was impeccably organized. The desk across from that one...wasn’t. It held a veritable treasure trove of detritus, everything from pencil shavings to paper airplanes to a pizza box. 

Andy saluted her. “Officer Andrew Dwyer, ma’am,” he said, clicking his heels together. Since he was back in his sneakers, the clicking was ineffective. He pulled back the side of his unbuttoned flannel shirt to show her his Pawnee P.D. badge, which he’d pinned to the inside. “Reporting for duty.” 

“My cousin,” said Rosa, who had folded her arms over her chest. “Her husband.” 

The brunette tilted up her chin. “I didn’t know you had a cousin. Of course, I guess--I mean, I should have known. Or guessed. It’s not really very unusual to have a cousin, is it?” She laughed. It was high-pitched and weird. Then she stuck out a hand to shake Andy’s. “Welcome to the Nine-Nine. I’m Detective Amy Santiago.” 

April stuck out her hand too, and found Amy’s grip to be firm and professional. 

“Great,” said Rosa. “You’ve met my cousin. Now, let’s--” 

“Can you take us on a tour?” April cut in. “I wanna see the morgue.” 

“No visitors in the morgue,” said Rosa. “Come on. If we’re going to get to the Statue of Liberty before midnight--” 

“Can we go at midnight?” It would be better at night. She only barely wanted to go in the first place; it would definitely be better after dark and preferably with fewer tourists. 

“No. It closes.” 

They had turned to leave, Amy’s “Nice to meet you!” floating across the bullpen floor, when a very loud BANG made everyone hit the deck. Dust filled the air. April winced as it stung her eyes and nose, and tried covering her face with her sleeve. Her first thought was _bomb!_ , but then she realized that wasn’t it. Despite the bang, there had been no real explosion. The bullpen was just that dusty. 

And then the smell hit, a horrible sulphuric stench that instantly penetrated everything. 

Everyone was shouting, but above it all, she heard Andy. 

“April! April, where are you?” 

“I’m right here,” she coughed. “I’m okay.” 

“Everyone, remain calm,” said a clear, commanding voice. Somehow, April did feel calmer. “We will have a SWAT team in here as soon as possible.” 

“It was the pizza box,” said another man’s voice. The dust was beginning to settle, and April could see him hovering over the messy desk, fanning his hand to clear the stench. “Whatever it was, it was in the pizza box. I _knew_ there was something suspicious about that box. I didn’t recognize where it was from, and I know all the pizza places Jake would go to, I’m his best friend--” 

“Ha ha!” Someone was speaking those words, not laughing them, and April turned around to see Rosa glaring at yet another detective, this one dressed like the cool cop version of Ben, if such a thing were possible. (It wasn’t. She wondered, anyway, if this was a weird parallel universe situation and the plaid-shirted, skinny-tied cop was secretly and lamely in love with the uptight over-organized cop.) He pushed his way across the floor, suspect in tow. 

“Jake,” said Rosa, “what did you do?” 

“I apprehended a suspect in the Midwestern Muggle Mayhem Machine case.” When everyone stared blankly at him, Jake nodded his head towards the guy in cuffs, who kept his head down; April couldn’t see his face. “You know? Midwestern Muggle Mayhem Machine? The guy who’s been setting off stink bombs at the Quidditch tournament? One of which is on my desk right now...oh, I smell that it might have...”

“Exploded?” said Amy. “Yes.” 

“What the hell is Quidditch?” asked Rosa. 

Andy gasped. “There are _wizards_ in New York?” 

“I must insist that we all evacuate the premises at once,” said the Captain. 

“Yes, sir, Captain Holt,” said Amy, snapping to action. And she efficiently evacuated them. 

Once they were assembled outside, Jake nudged his suspect more upright and pulled off the young man’s baseball cap. Andy immediately gasped. 

“You!” he said. “You’re under arrest for--” He reached a hand back, but there were no handcuffs attached to his jeans. Jake shot him a funny look. 

“Dude, no. I already arrested him. Also, who are you?” 

“My cousin’s husband,” said Rosa. “He’s a cop or something. In some podunk place in the Midwest.” 

“Rosa! I didn’t know you had a cousin.” 

Amy chipped in. “That’s exactly what I said!” 

“Guys,” said Andy, patiently, “this is a really dangerous criminal. How did you…” 

Jake crinkled an eyebrow at Andy. “He’s not exactly dangerous. More like really annoying, in a criminally disorderly way.” 

April let the discussion unfold. She pulled out her phone, which had been buzzing. Texts from Leslie, she thought, and she was right. 

_How was your flight?_

_How is New York so far? Did you meet up with your cousin?_

_Did you get to Central Park yet? I want pictures! Lots of pictures!_

_Have you seen anything exciting?_

_I’m going to assume you’re not answering me because you’re having so much fun._

She wondered if she could get away with video chatting, decided she could, and got Leslie on the phone. Leslie’s face filled the screen, that weird combination of tired and excited that she always was these days. 

“April! Oh, my gosh. Tell me everything. How’s the conference? Did you check in yet?” 

“What? No, check-in isn’t until tomorrow.”

“That might be what they’re telling you, but if you ask the right people, you can usually get in early.” 

“Whatever,” April said. “Leslie, shh. Look.” She tilted her phone over her shoulder, so Leslie could see the suspect, and was rewarded with a gasp. 

“Is that--” 

“Yeah.” April was unable to keep a note of pleasure out of her own voice. “The NYPD arrested Greg Pikitis.” 

“Hey,” said Rosa, stepping up behind April. “We can go now.” 

“If you want to, like, stay here…” She tilted her head at the chaos surrounding Pikitis. “I mean, you probably don’t want to go to the Statue of Liberty anyway.” 

“It’s terrible. But it’s also kind of cool. You should see it.” 

April hastily ended her video chat before Leslie could weigh in on the Statue of Liberty. 

“Andy and I can get there on our own.” 

Rosa shook her head once. “Nah. I’ll take you. You should have a local guide.” 

“Okay.” April waved at her husband. “Andy, come on. We’re going now.” 

“Aw, babe, I’m in the middle of making an arrest…” 

“No, you’re not,” said Jake, who was starting to sound exasperated. “You don’t work for this police force.” 

Rosa clapped a leather-clad arm on April’s back. “Besides,” she said, leading April away, “we haven’t talked in years. We should catch up. You’re the only cool cousin I have.” 

Inside grown-up April’s chest, ten-year-old April’s heart swelled. 

“I love Andy and Champion--that's my dog--and my job is kind of okay,” she said. “That’s about it.” 

“Cool.” Rosa nodded once. “Good catching up. Let’s get a cab.”


End file.
